Ahh Tumblr, the only place acceptable for a post like this. Before I begin, I know you guys may get annoyed because it may seem like I’m complaining about my life. I’m sorry, I am not. I realize I’m highly blessed to have a full time job and an opportunity for an education like this, but I’m so stressed and overwhelmed, I just need an outlet. Okay.

School & work is kicking my ass. I never get to see my friends anymore. My friend Sarah from Cleveland was in town this weekend and I didn’t even get to see her because I was so busy. Today, Fathers Day, I didn’t even get to go see my real dad because i was too busy being passed out before I had to come into work tonight. I feel like a shitty friend, and daughter. And I feel like my friends don’t believe just how busy I am. Let me give you a run down of this upcoming week, just to give you an idea of how busy I am:

Monday: Get off of work at 6am. AA meeting (required observation project for my psych class) with Britt at 10am. Probably will last an hour. Sleep after wards, but then I have to get up at a decent hour to study for my exam I have. 8pm is my Monday tv shows with Mom time (i highly value this, as I need to relax at some point). Then studying more and going to bed at a decent hour.

Tuesday: Exam & class from 9am-12:30pm. Working on a project for clinicals with Brian immediately after class. Then I have to go home and do my care map & other assignments for clinicals. Then hopefully nap. Then work at 10pm.

Wednesday: off work at 6am. Sleep til 12:30pm. Clinicals from 2pm-8pm. Then studying for my other exam before I have to go to work at 10pm.

Thursday: off work at 6am. Exam & class from 9am-12:30pm. Then going to the hospital to do patient research for clinicals and then sleep until I go to work at 10pm.

Friday: off work at 6am. Clinicals from 6:45am-3:30pm. Sleeping til work at 10pm.

Saturday: off work at 6am. Sleep til work at 2pm. Work 2pm-10pm.

Sunday: Finally a lite day!!! Church at 10:45am-12, lunch with the grandparents, then probably either doing hw or sleeping til I go to work at 10pm.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Welcome to my life y’all. July 29th, get here quick so it can be the end of the semester.

So yeah, I dont really have time for anyone. Sorry guys. :( I hate my life right now because of it.

I suppose some of the choices I make in life could be better.

According to my psych nursing notes, I’m in stage 1 of family development: the single young adult.

I feel like my life is just beginning lol

S’pose I’ll enjoy my time as a single young adult :D

Excessive intake of caffeine causes many tumblr ramblings.

Goodbye tumblr, I have to study!

“I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us…”…almost any Christian knows what song these lyrics come from. I’ve sang it a zillion times in my Christian lifetime…and yet just now do they seem to really take an affect on my life. Ive been having a lot of trouble studying for my exam this weekend cuz I’ve been too focused on a certain someone an a certain situation…but those lyrics just totally make me wanna forget about all of that. Life is too short to dwell on the small blips on the radar. I’ve got bigger fish to fry. I’m getting called to bigger & better things in life than dwelling upon some silly boy.

Now, time for the future Nurse Shayna to cram hard for this exam. My career depends on it :)

No seriously, I am. First of all I’m way too busy to even be thinking about a boyfriend. My main priority is finishing this last year of nursing school. Secondly, I’m sick of being hurt. I’m sick of laying here in my bed wondering wtf I did wrong and why I’m not good enough. And thirdly, I need to let God fix me. I’m so messed up, you have no idea. I’m broken. I’m damaged goods. You don’t want me, not right now like this. So I’m off the market, gentleman. Hopefully one day a real man will come about in my life. Till then, it’s adios.

-endrant-

It’s so weird how people change over the years.

I hate that my ex has completely ruined good country music for me. I can say now that I really do enjoy country music. I’m currently trying to listen to Josh Turner’s “Why Don’t We Just Dance” on Spotify and all I can think of is my ex singing that song to me at various bars on karaoke nights. He also would sing “Your Man” all the time…mind you, I really like Josh Turner’s voice..and it’s like I completely cannot listen to him anymore without the wounds resurfacing. It doesn’t help that Chris’s voice sounds just like Josh Turner. It also probably doesn’t help that he tried to talk to me a couple nights ago, suggesting we be friends. The wounds and pain resurfaced just from him talking to me(I was depressed at work, it was pathetic). I told him that I can’t be friends with him. Apparently he’s dating some lady..and from my fb stalking skills, she must be like in her late 30s/early 40s because she is a grandma of 2 kids!! But he’s living with her, so he has a roof over his head so he isn’t complaining. Whatever floats his boat. I wish the best to him & to his two kids. I hope he never reappears in my life again. I also hope one day I can listen to good country music without reliving our relationship. I’m trying to put away my heart, and the feelings of being in love, for someone who really deserves me. He didn’t, never did, and never will.